Hello Lovelies!
I am so glad you are here. Funny story: I started writing this around my daughter’s first birthday, and then motherhood got so busy that I have not been able to finish this post until now! Anyway, let’s get into some important things I have learned (and am still learning) as a new mom!
1. This one is a double negative, but I don’t regret NOT showing my child’s face. In fact, the times I have shown glimpses of her and her life have shown me the importance of maintaining this boundary.
2. For anxiety, block the scary, sad, negative stories and lean on positive stories – literally. I went on all my usual social apps and most have this feature where you can block keywords from your feed and I picked various sensitive phrases and that helps! It also helps getting advice from pediatricians, friends, even first responders regarding various safety things.
3. Your tone and reaction matters earlier than you think. The younger stages have been excellent practice for creating a safe space for emotions with consistency and tools for self-regulation.
4. Similarly, bridging communication gaps with your children will help them trust and respect you. I didn’t realize how early our daughter would be able to recognize communication patterns and understand keywords in our home but it truly has been amazing to understand her and see her understand us. One of my favorite ways to foster this is narrating what we are doing or connecting songs to certain actions.
5. The cute milestone pictures and little trips/memories are great IF YOU WANT THEM, but it’s ok to also be boring. We didn’t do a lot of the special shoots or other crafts you may see on socials, and that is mainly due to lack of sleep in the first few months. Looking back, I am glad we kept things fairly low-key!
6. SECOND HAND CLOTHES ARE THE BOMB. Especially for babies and toddlers, since they grow so fast you can find high quality baby clothes secondhand!
7. Easiest time to travel with an infant is somewhere between 3-9 months. This is based on both my own experience and what I have read from others, but this is a fun stage where you aren’t chasing a little one through the airport, and they (hopefully) are content in their carrier or car seat most of the time!
8. Listen to pediatrician re milestones, not the internet. In general with development and all, I found it eased my anxiety to not compare our daughter to other children, and just get clear information on how she is doing through our doctor.
9. Fed is Best. I am so glad I breastfed as long as I did, but I wish for two things: 1) more support for nursing moms and 2) less stigma around feeding your baby.
10. Splurge on things like diapers, soaps, wipes – things that your child uses a lot that could affect allergies (ie. quality food), and less on toys clothes, other categories
11. Postpartum is real. Establish your support system early. Lean on your partner, have designated people to call for certain situations, take as much time as you can to research trusted caregivers
12. Enjoy it. They change so much and it is so exciting to meet and get to know this brand new person!
And those are my key learnings for the first year! Thank you so much for reading, and please let me know what topics resonated with you! ALSO!! If you are local to Cincinnati like I am and want to engage with other local parents, build community, and have fun, join me at the Boobie Trap event hosted by Hutch Baby! More details below, and use my code “LAUGHS” for 15% off your ticket!
Xx,
A