relationship – She Laughs

When His Sweatshirts Are Not Even Oversized On You

Hello Lovelies!!

Ok I have no idea how to title this blog post, but I felt like getting personal with y’all after an exciting conversation with an Instagram friend! So long story short this person asked me (in a broad general sense) how I have felt about or handled being in a relationship with someone who is more fit or smaller than I am. I feel like this is a loaded question so how about we break it down!

First off, we all know that society teaches women to be cute and little, especially compared to their partner. I see Twitter posts and TikTok videos from girls complaining that their boyfriend (for example) cannot pick them up like “everyone else” or maybe his sweatshirt “isn’t even oversized on you.” To all the people that teach women to desire these things: please stop. Not every relationship physically looks like what you see on social media and that is ok. Women over 250 pounds exist and so do men under 5 foot 3. Those people are just as deserving of a loving, goals-worthy relationship as anyone else.

So let us say that your body is different than your partners and that makes you insecure. Your main problem is not your body or their body, but your insecurity. Remember the importance of body positivity and self love. You like and appreciate yourself the way you are, and your partner probably does too. Why would you worry that they did not like you that way? Or why would you worry about how other people saw you together? To put it simply, you should have enough confidence in yourself that your partner’s physique does not change anything for you! If you really like someone, you are not going to be contemplating rules regarding heel hight or how to pose in photos etc etc.

Another important question I have unfortunately had to face is: do they really like you the way you are? Way back when I dated someone who was not bigger than I was. When we met I was relatively fit for my normal ranges, then a few months in I started to gain significant weight due to stress. Not only did his person negatively point out this change but they also noted how they did not like my size upon meeting me and assumed I would eventually be motivated to change. This situation has forever changed how I date.

If you are working on the whole “being confident enough that size differences in relationships do not matter to me thing” here is a BIG TIP I recommend for while you are dating. When you meet someone and decide you like them enough to keep dating, have a conversation about this early on. Similarly to how it is important to discuss faith, goals, and personal history, asking someone about their body preferences or standards in a partner is extremely important. Personally I have said, “hey, body positivity and personal health are very important to me. This is what my body looks like now, sure I may wish to be at a healthier fitness level than I am now, but if this does not change is that ok with you and would you still like me?” This might sound super strange but to me this conversation is really important and most of the time it reminds me to focus on positive things like healthy habits or just simply being happy with the person you are dating without the distraction of petty insecurity.

I love sharing super personal things like this with you all! To be clear, this blog post is intended to positively encourage you in your lives, and to remind y’all to LOVE YOURSELVES and let all the happy elements of your lives flow from that!

xx,

Why You Should Never Settle

Hello Lovelies!!

This topic has been on my mind a lot lately especially as I think about the future and my plans after graduation. I have thought about what I want for my life and oftentimes I think, what if my plans do not work out? What if I have to find something else or what if I have to wait? I realize that all these fearful thoughts revolve around settling, and here is why, no matter the circumstances, you should NEVER settle for anything.

Settling is a phenomenon that can occur in any area of life, personally and professionally. Ironically, it always brings about some very unsettling feelings. You know that feeling? It’s like walking into a shop looking for that cute top you had your eye on for a while, and unfortunately that cute top is out of stock, so you look for something similar just to avoid walking away empty handed. But then, this horrible feeling sets in that tells you that whatever you just bought is not enough. It wasn’t your goal, but you took it anyway in order to avoid making a difficult decision.

I have since learned that it is ok if not completely necessary to make that difficult decision.

Now, the opposite of settling isn’t necessarily making the difficult decision of walking away from anything but the absolute best. Rather, it is knowing your worth and how incredibly valuable you are, and choosing a life that fits you accordingly. There are many areas of life where you can choose to not settle, but I will stick to two areas: Relationships and Professional Life.

Relationships

In both romantic and non-romantic relationships, people often settle primarily because it is better than the alternative: isolation. But in settling, you tell yourself that you are not worth having better, kinder people around you, and over time you accept more BS from the other person. Look for that person who not only accepts you where you are, but also encourages you to move forward and do your best.

Professional Life

I’ve always heard stories of people spending years and years in a job they never liked simply because it pays the bills. This may sound extremely simple, but if you have a dream and a passion for yourself and your work, go live it. Sure, there may be difficult steps to get there, but if you know who you are and what you want, what’s stopping you from pursuing your dreams?

When I find myself in these situations; when I have a dream or a passion and I am not living up to my fullest potential, I make lists. I plan and I create vision boards and it is honestly the most freeing experience to lay out all my ideas in one place in order to periodically check if I am on track to meet my goals. Typically, I make new goals lists and vision boards each semester, and I keep them on the fridge or in my planner so that everyday I am reminded that to continue working for something greater.

When I first started the blog 6 months ago, I did not imagine it would become so successful so quickly! At the time I made a list for myself. This list included short term and long term goals for the blog like content, production, collaborations, etc. This process has taken a lot of work but through it all I never sold myself short and that makes me even more proud to be where I am now.

I encourage you all to do more than simply dream. Envision your goals, record them either with a list or a vision board, and watch how that daily reminder will push you to achieve more than you can imagine!

xx,